Hey kids, I’m a wombat!
More specifically, I’m DatWombat, “Dat” as in, dat ass! No, I’m not a furry! I’m a bonafide wombat with a persona, a person-suit! Based in the United States of America, I reside in the west coast — the best coast! Before any east coasters get their panties in a twist, it’s not my fault you were born in the least coast! A lot of folk think I come from down under, but (thankfully) I don’t — I hear Aussie laws aren’t too keen on pornography. You see, I fled to the States using my fat ass (dat ass) as a floatation device so I could be here today and help your pee-pee go wee-wee! But hey, enough about me. . .
Actually, let’s talk about me some more!
I work almost every day, so I don’t enjoy a whole lot of free-time. And by “work”, I mean maintaining the Wombat Trap and creating content for my readers. As much as I hate to say, sometimes I need a break. I enjoy creating artwork and playing games. I don’t always write about lewd games — I deeply enjoy creative writing, and I spend a lot of time worldbuilding for the games and books I hope to share in the distant future.
Believe it or not, I don’t fap-fap twenty-four seven!
- Ask a Wombat! 065
Knack asks. . .
What’s the stupidest game you’ve reviewed and what’s the stupidest game you’ve played?
DatWombat says. . .
That’s. . . I’m not sure! I’m guessing by “stupid”, you mean “ridiculous” and not “frustrating”. When I think about the “stupidist game” that I’ve reviewed, I think of Jerking Off In Class Simulator. In this game, you must carefully jerk-off in class without getting caught. You have to carefully time every fap and take care not to make too much noise — it’s so dumb! If I were to consider the “stupidist game” I’ve played (but haven’t necessarily reviewed), Borderlands 2 comes to mind. The Borderlands series offers a colorful cast of over-the-top characters the dumbest quests I’ve ever participated in. The first stupidness that comes to mind are Brick’s moments in Tiny Tina’s DLC. I won’t spoil any of them, but I just laughed out loud.
- Ask a Wombat! 064
Winston asks. . .
I know it’s a little late but what did you think of the whole OnlyFans debacle?
DatWombat says. . .
I know nothing about said “debacle”. I vaguely remember watching the first minute or two of a video about OnlyFans banning adult content (LOL) or something, but that’s as much as I know. If they really were planning on banning adult content, I’d say that’s a pretty dumb idea. I think OnlyFans is a household name for porn at this point — no other user-based subscription service is as synonymous with sexual content. I’ve never payed attention to the platform though. I don’t think I will unless I can create some sort of content from doing so (but I’d probably be breaking ToS or something).
It’s a trap!
Sometimes people consider me a “she”, and I appreciate it, but I’m not a lady and I don’t consider myself to be one either — I wish! I’m not exactly proud of my package but you know. . . it’s what I got. I wouldn’t go so far to call myself transgender, but I would use the word “effeminate”. I’ve always considered myself a man, but there’s a reason why I don’t correct people when people refer to me as a “she”. . . I kind of like it. Alas, I’ve been cursed with this here fire hose!
But it does feel good when I touch it. . .
A-a-nd what better transition for me to talk about the Wombat Trap! I’m sure at least one of you have asked where the Wombat Trap got its name from. Unfortunately, the reasons aren’t very entertaining (and no, it’s not because of the way I dress!) I did name the ‘Trap after me, ‘cus you know, I’m a wombat. Whenever I need to name something, I tend to gravitate to alliteration and rhymes. If you say “Wombat Trap” slowly, you may notice the similarities the last two syllables share, and the sorta-kinda-rhyme “bat” and “trap” create. Also, I thought that the “Wombat Trap” sounded like a name for a bar or nightclub, and I had hoped to create a community with my content.
Also, I kind of really really like traps.