Feel Up a Sexy Lifeguard! is a lewd clicker-game about massaging a sexy lifeguard.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.

Censorship?
Mosaic’d genitalia.

Hours of Gameplay?
Two or three hours.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Gameplay

Fondle a lovely lifeguard to collect “arousal” and unlock new positions, and more. . . intimate fondling options. By engaging in sexual contact “massaging” the protagonist, she will give hearts and gain “arousal”, both of which used to unlock new massages and positions. As you rub her up, her “sensitivity” will increase, speeding-up the rate at which she is aroused — take care not to cap her “pleasure” meter in the process, as doing so will cost a “life” (and an ass-load of “arousal” to get them back!) There isn’t a way to “beat” the game, just new CGs to unlock (and something else to beat.)

Also, I hate “esc” key being “exit application”. . . can this be a toggle, developers?

I found an exploit which allows you to collect arousal without interacting with the game. You must first mouse-over the “pleasure window”, in which you will collect arousal as long as the cursor stays in place. Then, “Shift”/”Enter” into the Steam user-interface — doing so will “freeze” your cursor, allowing you to continue using your PC (or perhaps, play another game) as you accrue points. I let Feel Up a Sexy Lifeguard! run for a few hours after getting collecting my first thousand points of arousal “legitimately”.

Seriously, who’s idea was it to punish players for having sex in a sex-game?

New content can be unlocked by collecting “hearts”, which are generated as pleasure increases. When hearts appear on-screen, they can be acquired by spamming the “space” key in a manner not dissimilar from a rhythm game. Collecting hearts rapidly increases pleasure, which can lead to lost lives. I think that it would be interesting if there were multiple kinds of hearts, perhaps returning varying amounts of pleasure or additional hearts (as a currency) to unlock content. This would make the minigame more interesting, and less of a “spam space bar and try not to lose your lives and progress” game.

Story

You wake up beneath the beating sun and a sexy lifeguard. She accuses you of peeping on the beach-goers, buy you deny her claims (but we all know that’s exactly what you were doing on the beach!) She figures you for a friendly person, and asks that you massage her — and apparently, this lifeguard’s idea of a massage starts with your hands all over her breasts!

Visuals

The titlescreen is nicely arranged, and the user-interface is attractive. The application resolution can be adjusted using the keys “Z”, “X”, “C”, and “V”; the maximum resolution for this game is 1000 by 1000, but it’s possible to fullscreen this game by pressing the “Alt” and “Enter” keys together. Audio and display preferences can be adjusted from the “Setting” menu (which is brought-up via the gearbox icon at the top-left corner.)

The Goods

There are interactive CGs, each featuring the main protagonist with a wide variety of unlockable interactivity. You can lick, grab, toy and undress her to your heart’s content (as long as you have the hearts to unlock each option.) The protagonist looks great, and the animations are a delight. However, climax is both rare and anti-climatic — playing with the protagonist doesn’t feel much better than some mildy-interactive doll.

Verdict

Wait for a sale. This isn’t a particularly fun game, and the “gameplay” isn’t what I’d call “exciting”. Feel Up a Sexy Lifeguard! punishes you for playing by forcing you to pause between intercourse (or lose your “lives” and unlocks.) In addition, censorship (for anyone in the States) is total buzzkill — Steam doesn’t require censored genitalia, so censorship should be absent. If there was a “free-mode” added to this game, it would be a more worthwhile purchase. Until then, I’d wait for a strong sale or a few good updates.