Simp Attack is a lewd third-person beat-em-up.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
(F, M) Nudity.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
Thirty minutes.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Gameplay

Kill wave after wave of simps! You pick a character, then a world, then a region (if applicable). Each character is equipped with a different melee weapon, but (barring new animations) they all play the same. The goal of the game is survive as many waves as possible; each wave consists of deadly, rapey simps. Every time they land a hit, off goes another piece of clothing! If you’re hit after losing all of your clothes, it’s game-over. Thankfully, you can regenerate your garb just by stabbing simps to death!

I doubt the developers will listen, but I have some suggestions for this game!

Fighting is monotonous. There are few moves at your disposal, and every enemy is just the same — they charge, swipe, rinse and repeat. It would have been cool to have access to special attacks, perhaps tied to scoring kills or losing apparel. Seeing how the player is equipped with swords, I think it would be appropriate to arm the player with magic too! Blowing up simps with fireballs or summoning new waifus to your aid would be entertaining.

Or what if the simps did more than charge like buffoons?

Story

There is no story (and I’m not making one up).

Visuals

The titlescreen is appealing, though I’ve seen the same animations and assets across many titles. From “Options”, you may adjust audio, display, gameplay and graphical preferences. Though most, if not all of the game consists of premade assets, they all blend together well.

The Goods

As you take damage, your character will lose her clothes. Ultimately, she’ll be stripped naked — the nudity is nothing special, but nonetheless welcome. The enemies will go-nakie during a game-over, and they will explode with nut!

Verdict

I don’t recommend this game. Even if you like memeware, I wouldn’t pay more than a dollar for this game. It’s clear that Simp Attack is slightly better than other memeware, but it’s quick to become repetitive. Once you’ve played one round of Simp Attack, you’ve seen everything this game has to offer. There are no leaderboards, unlockables, or lewd content. Gameplay consists of mashing the same key again and again, and it gets old. I get Simp Attack is a supposed to be a big joke — but jokes stop being funny when you repeat them too many times. The joke that’s Simp Attack goes stale right fast — you’d have to be a. . . simp to buy this game!