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Your first girlfriend (1/5★)

Table of Contents


Your first girlfriend is a lewd strategy game with RPG and tower-defense elements.

Adult Content?
(F) nudity.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
One hour (est.)

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.


Foreword


I received a free, “early access” copy of this game for review purposes — thanks JXQ GOOD GAME!



Gameplay: overview (1/5★)


Deploy and upgrade troops (or “heroes”) while carefully managing your resources! There are a variety of deployable troops, each of them with varying stats. It’s unclear what they mean (such as the difference between “attack” and “power”), but it’s safe to say more is better. You can improve individual troops simply by using them, or by purchasing single-use equipment. Whatever you do, DO NOT spend all of your money under any circumstance. Troops cost money, and if you make the same mistake I did you’ll be stuck with useless software. There’s a “log in” bonus with assorted rewards (including precious money). I have no idea what half of the rewards are (and I’m pretty sure most of them are non-functional). As you complete missions, you’ll earn points and climb the leaderboards!




Sexual Content: overview (1/5★)


There is no sexual content, but one or more models have bare breasts — it’s nothing to write about.



Story: overview (1/5★)


There is no story. However, under “ABOUT THIS GAME” JXQ GOOD GAME wrote;

When was your first girlfriend? Now although we have grown up, but will inadvertently think of the first girlfriend?

I don’t know what to say.



Sound: overview (NA/5★)


I played this game muted (so I won’t be judging it based on sound).



Visuals: overview (1/5★)


There is not titlescreen — when you boot the application, you’ll be taken to the main “hub”. The game defaults to (what I think is) Chinese; though you may toggle between languages from the “Settings” menu, your selection is constantly reset. If you’re an English-speaker, you’ll be sorely disappointed by how how little the game is translated. JXQ GOOD GAME claims this game offers an English interface, but that’s a lie. The user-interface doesn’t look too bad, but it’s difficult to navigate without using trial and error. It’s unclear what does what — you’d think there’d be some sort of tutorial. It’s clear a wide variety of assets will mashed together to make this game. All of the characters are grossly out-of-place, and player-characters are the same as countless “hentai” shovelware titles.




Verdict: wasn’t worth fixing (1/5★)


Ugh. Due to a programming oversight, I broke the game by spending my money before deploying my “heroes”. I didn’t realize they cost money, leaving me to believe my game was busted. I’ve been very generous JXQ GOOD GAME; I rebooted this application off-and-on, just in case I missed an important update. One day, I decided to fiddle with my system time in order to exploit the “daily rewards” to acquire more money. Under normal circumstances, I would have been forced to log-in over the course of days just to try to play the game. Even if you don’t make the same mistake as I did, it’s possible to run out of money through normal gameplay. You may have to “log in” for a week straight just to play again! I’m willing to look past sub-par visuals, but Your first girlfriend is something special (in a bad way). I’m not sure why this game is tagged with “sexual content” when there is only nudity. Furthermore, the nudity is uncalled for — it adds nothing to the game. To its credit, Your first girlfriend is almost an interesting game once you learn how to play. It’s too bad the gameplay is too confusing and monotonous to be worth learning. I shouldn’t have fixed my game.



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