Hentai Simulator is a lewd beat-’em-up/management game.
At-a-glance
(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.
Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Game-play?
Two hours.
Modding Support?
No.
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.
Gameplay
Battle baddies, bang hotties, and manage your basic needs — story of my life (‘cmon guys let me have this one!) You have three basic needs; hunger, which is replenished by food and drink; happiness, which is gained by beer, donuts, and working out; and sleep which is gained by you know, sleeping (or coffee!) Food and working out costs money, which can acquired by working (or committing crimes!) You can visit peoples’ homes and bang ’em to your heart’s content (or at least ’til you run out of Stamina). For some strange reason, every man has it out for you, so you’d best be ready to throw fists at the drop of a hat. Life in Hentai Simulator is a careful balance of staying alive and working. Huh. . . kind of real life.
Is Hentai Simulator actually my life?
. . . yes, this is a game you can play one-handed!
Story
There’s this guy, and he’s a little new to the adult life. How-to adult is a bit harder than he thought. He wants to bang every woman in town, but every man wants to bang him. . . up. You know, like they want they fist him to death?
Oh wait —
Visuals
The titlescreen looks like a wreck. It looks like a glitchy mess of misplaced, cut-off decals and non-functional user-interface. . . was this intentional? There are no user-preferences to adjust from the titlescreen (or anywhere for that matter). The in-game visuals are serviceable, but there are an extensive amount of visible seams. The explorable world looks a lot like a lewd diorama made of paper.
The Goods
There are handful of bangable ladies that can be encountered. Meeting their prerequisites will allow you to enjoy a predetermined, animated sex-scene. The animations are serviceable, but due to their small size I don’t think anyone’s getting off to them.
Verdict
I don’t recommend this game. It’s unrefined, and not terribly fun. I think the only people that are going to enjoy Hentai Simulator are people looking for a nostalgia snack.
Wombat Woe — Sticky Bangin’
Whenever I right-click on a prospective woman (for sex), I get stuck in an unstoppable bang-loop. I can’t figure out how to get out of sex animations without fast traveling from the world map. . . or spam clicking in some vain hope that my guy gets his pants back on.
