Chapter One: Introduction
Last Tour 終末旅行 is a lewd turn-based RPG available on Steam. I lost interest in the game after about an hour, but with fifteen “levels” I suspect it would take the average player anywhere between one and two hours. The levels don’t actually take long to complete, but the process of learning by trial and error greatly inflates gameplay.
I recieved a free copy of this game for review purposes — thanks ASOBI!
Chapter Two: Gameplay (2/5★)
Section One: Overview
As “the last survivors in the war-torn city” Chito and Yuuri are fucking around by exploring “the wastelands to pass the time.” But the wastelands are rife with spike traps, bottomless pits, swinging balls, and armed robots. In the interest of ” food and parts”, they have no choice but to platform through a frozen wasteland.
Well, they don’t actually collect “food and parts” in the game. All they do is beat up on robots and fuck when they’re done. I guess I wasn’t kidding when I said they’re “fucking around”!
Section Two: Balance
The actual platforming is generally pretty easy, but the controls are a nightmare (which I’ll explain in detail in the following section). Each level has a few check points, but I wish there were at least double to compensate for poorly telegraphed hazards.
Deadly obstacles spawn without warning, and enemies insta-kill upon entering line of sight. Enemies should offer players a window of opportunity to react. I had my progress reset too many times because I was forced to guess when it was safe to drop into dangerous territory.
Section Three: Controls
There’s no reconfigurable key bindings, which sucks. I prefer to play with mouse and keyboard. Fortunately, I was able to reconfigure my mouse to accept the key bindings forced by the game.
The controls are pretty rough — especially after playing Eroico as my last action-platformer. Chito and Yuuri control like buttered feet on a hardwood floor (maybe that’s why the levels are covered in snow?) In Eroico, the protagonist’s movement accelerates/decelerates, allowing fine control. But Last Tour goes from “one” to “one-hundred” the moment you press the key.
But sometimes, the keys just don’t work.
I would hit the “space” key to jump and Chito and Yuuri would refuse to jump. They have to move before jumping to clear most obstacles; when they don’t jump for whatever reason, it typically means restarting a large portion of the level.
Chapter Three: Sexual Content (3/5★)
Section One: Content
There are fifteen unlockable animations typically showing Chito and Yuuri fucking each other after a long mission. I have no idea which one’s which, but one of them is a futa.
Both protagonists have unkempt, hairy genitals; I mention this because in at least one animation, one of the characters has pubes stuck on her face. I think loose pubes are hot, but I don’t suspect most people do. If you’re “most people”, you can take solace in knowing Chito and Yuuri’s pubes generally stay where they come from.
Section Two: Implementation
Completing “levels” unlocks sexual animaions.
Section Three: Interactivity
The animations are not interactive whatsoever.
Section Four: Content
The animation, acting and characters are awesome, but the length of the animations is underwhelming. Granted, each animation loops indefinitely — but the loop is not seamless. With only seconds of material per animation, it’s hard to get invested into the unlockable gallery. It felt like I was watching a porn that was sliced into eight or nine second long GIFs.
Additionally, clipping and visual artifacts are rampant.
Chapter Four: Story (2/5★)
Section One: Plot
With no introduction or cutscenes, one would think Last Tour has no plot or characters.
But ASOBI writes,
Amid the desolate remains of a once-thriving city, only the rumbling of a robot [sic] breaks the cold winter silence. Chito and Yuuri, are the last survivors in the war-torn city. Scavenging old military sites for food and parts, the two girls explore the wastelands to pass the time. Chito and Yuuri each occasionally struggle with the looming solitude, but when they have each other, sharing the weight of being two of the last humans becomes a bit more bearable.
Section Two: Characters
I have no idea who’s who or what they do (other than fuck, of course).
Chapter Five: Sound (3/5★)
Section One: Soundtrack
The music is thematically arpproppiate given the setting; I could see an eery, piano melody serving as the backing track for “the desolate remains of a once-thriving city” in a snowy wonderland. But with only one track to serve the game, it gets pretty old.
Section Two: Sound Effects
I was shocked to hear RPGMaker sound effects; upon closer inspection of the game files, I found the game is not based on the RPGMaker engine. If that’s the case, ASOBI may be violation of RPGMaker TOS or EULA. ASOBI, I would check yourselves before y’all wreck yourselves (from either the higher powers of RPGMaker or Steam).
The sound effects played while attacking and jumping are really annoying.
Chapter Six: Visuals (2/5★)
Section One: User-interface
Nothing about the graphical interface suggests the Last Tour takes place in “a once-thriving city”. The interface seems more appropriate for an fantasy-style RPG. The “Memory” looks exactly the same as the “New Game” menu when it would be better served by icons. When I want to review an unlocked animation, I don’t want to have to play them until I find what I’m looking for.
There’s no “pause” menu, making it extremely dangerous to walk away from the game. If you’re foolish enough to press “esc” hoping to pause the game, you will find your progress is completely reset instead — including unlocked checkpoints in the level.
Section Two: Graphics
Apparently, the graphics are too much for an HDD to handle; the game would hang every time I tried to boot into a level. I had to move the game to my SSD just to play the game.
Optimization? Who fucking needs it?
Death doesn’t feel satisfying; granted, you’re not supposed to die, but I think most players are going to die once or twice. Chito and Yuuri don’t ragdoll on death, which would have honestly been a pretty entertaining way to go out. Watching a scripted death animation is comparably boring.
It’s difference between watching Master Chief perform his iconic death spiral in Halo or watching him tumble in Halo Infinite.
Chapter Seven: Verdict (2/5★)
My excitement for this game quickly wore away as I contended with god-awful controls. When Last Tour works, you can expect fast-paced platforming with lots of room for optimization movement. Otherwise, it’s a frustrating grind of repeat content whenever a key doesn’t work or a hazard isn’t telegraphed. Last Tour is an awful side scroller, but the sexual content offers a little bit redemption; it’s not often I get to see an animated futa destroy her busty companion!
