Your Waifu JUICE Review (1.5/5★)

Table of Contents

Chapter One: Introduction

Your Waifu JUICE is a lewd “rouglike” (or more accurately, a top-down hack-and-slash) available on Steam. It suspect that the game offers about an hour of content, but I couldn’t find the motivation to finish this game. I think the copy I was sent is either broken or missing an add-on. However, I was not made aware of any “patch” or DLC when I was sent this game.

I received a free copy of this game for review purposes — thanks Horny69Team!

Chapter Two: Gameplay (1/5★)

Section One: Overview

To finance “sex scenes with lovely girls” you must “go to the nearest dungeon and kill monsters”. With “Randomly generated dungeons”, no two floors are the same.

No siree bob, there are no shortage of frustrating, time-wasting mazes with “disgusting monsters” and lack-lustre “chests of gold!”

Section Two: Combat

Battles are fought top-down against hordes of simple enemies. When they spawn in playable areas, they simply follow and attack (until they stuck on collision). Enemies with ranged attacks are particular deadly since there’s no “dodge” or “block” mechanic.

Don’t be fooled by promises of “5 unique weapons”. A new weapon is provided at the beginning of each level — and from what I’ve seen, they’re simply increasingly strong reskins of the starting weapon. There are no additional playstyles or “power ups”.

Section Three: Balance

Earning enough gold to unlock images is grueling process. Unlocks cost between 500 gold and 20,000 gold. Enemies may drop as little as ten gold — and even when they drop twenty or more gold, with prices in the ten-thousands the grind is inescapable.

Chapter Three: Sexual Content (2/5★)

Section One: Content

I didn’t have the patience to unlock the full gallery. However, there are seven unlockables images in the “Tavern” (and it appears seven more are planned as “free DLC”).

The artwork appears to be strictly comprised of naked heroines in suggestive poses.

Section Two: Implementation

Images may be purchased with “gold” dropped by slain enemies.

Section Three: Interactivity

There is no interactivity whatsoever.

Section Four: Quality

Let’s start with something positive — the artwork is beautiful drawn.

With that out of the way, I’m disappointed by the lack of animation and dialogue. Your Waifu JUICE doesn’t have anything a Google Image search doesn’t already offer. However, the store page suggests animations and dialogue are at least planned — so take my words with a grain a salt.

The completed game may differ from the copy I reviewed.

Chapter Four: Story (1/5★)

As far as I can tell, the player character is some sort of adventurer and the women shown in the “Tavern” are his favorite wenches. I wonder, what kind of tavern takes place in a grassy field?

Chapter Five: Sound (2/5★)

Section One: Soundtrack

I wouldn’t describe the music as “Relaxing”. It’s a fast-paced synth rift that’d be suitable for bullet hell. In fact, I don’t think it’s appropriate given the slow combat or fantasy setting.

It also loops constantly, which gets old fast.

Section Two: Sound Effects

It’s a weird to hear no sound when browsing the user-interface, but I suppose silence is better than annoyance.

Combat is disinteresting with a thin selection of poorly balanced sound effects.

Chapter Six: Visuals (2/5★)

Section One: User-interface

The user-interface lacks polish. Between stock graphics and mis-matched text, it’s clear the game was hastily mashed together. I like how one tab from the main-menu inexplicably alternates between “Guide” and “Casino”.

Like guys, how did y’all not catch that before sending me this game for review?

Section Two: Graphics

A cropped graphic of a woman invades the screen, making it difficult to navigate dungeons without “feeling around”. It’s annoying, but fortunately the store page suggests it’s in fact a bug.

The stylistic differences between the player character, enemies and dungeons are jarring. The way pixels differ in size between sprites suggests little effort was made to effectively incorporate differing sprites as coherent visual elements.

Chapter Seven: Verdict (1.5/5★)

I think my copy of the game was either incomplete or broken. However, I believe my copy of the game only superficially differs from the advertised, completed product. It seems the published build may offer dialogue, animations, and possibly additional sexual content.

Your Waifu JUICE has the basic building blocks of a quick and fun top-down hack and slash, but it’s too repetitive. The grind for “gold” is not only unreasonable, it’s not fun because combat and exploration are boring. Your Waifu JUICE needs a stronger combat system with more foes, weapons and treasure before this game will “brighten up your leisure time.”

Chapter Eight: Recommendations

Gameplay

Add “power ups”, such as invincibility or increased speed.

Add randomly spawned weapons; roguelikes are characterized by varied playthroughs, no?

Sexual Content

Add a toggle for the user-interface.

Sound

Add more than one music track — perhaps, one per “dungeon”?

Naked VR Dance (1/5★)

Naked VR Dance is a fancy wallpaper with dancing ladies (and possible burn victims.)

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty is an RPG about delivering an evil gem to a kingdom for the protection of mankind.

football girl

football girl is a puzzle game where you must guide a ball by drawing-in the level.

Questions, requests or comments?
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