Welcome to Wommart!
Like, Walmart, but Wom(bat). . .mart?
Okay, I’ll admit it sounded better in my head than it does now that I’ve written down. . . but I’ve spent too much time on this joke, so you’re gonna like it. Laugh damn you! Alright, let’s try something else — Whadda ya buyin’? — Ya know? Like that one merchant guy from Resident Evil? You may not know what I’m going off about, but I can hear my obscure reference crystal clear. And I’m what matters, right guys?
Hey you! Yeah you! No Freeloaders!
Consider this section of the Wombat Trap to be a “members only” club; no moneys, no honeys. If you’re interested in supporting the Wombat Trap via one-time purchases, this is the place. Here at your local Wommart we sell lewdies fit for every screen! Why waste your money on rival stores when you have Wommart? Nevermind you “need” groceries; you don’t need anything but a well-fed wombat. I’m that wombat, and I need some grub in my tummy.
. . . and if you give me actual grubs I will actually maim you.
Oh and by the way. . . no refunds!
Imagine that in Marcus Kinkaid‘s voice. Now imagine what happens if you ask me for a “refund” — it’s gonna end with a bullet to the knee.
When your PC awakens from its slumber (e.g. sleep mode), fdoes it grace you with unnecessary pornography? If you answered “no”, then you are wasting your life (and your PC’s too.) Life is short; if you want a pair of tiddies on your monitor, let me help you with that. Grab a pair from the Wombat Shop — it’s pretty much all it’s good for.
. . . and that’s why I’ll never be hired for someone’s marketing department.
Eedilyn Screensaver Vol. One