Hismith Platform Review (3/5★)

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Chapter One: Introduction

While ordering my Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine, I realized it’s maximum adjustable height wouldn’t reach me unless I got on my hands and knees; with a maximum height of roughly 17 inches, my new toy needed a booster seat.

Enter the Hismith Platform.

Adding up to roughly 31 inches of height, the Hismith Platform would allow me to enjoy a fuck while standing. Once I actually put my Sex Machine to work, I realized it needed something to keep it from tipping over.

Enter the Hismith Platform.

Amazon calls refers to the product as a “Hismith Sex Machines Stand” and Hismith themselves call it the “Hismith Adjustable Pneumatic Stand” on their official website. But for the sake of brevity I’ll be referring this product as the “Hismith Platform”, as indicated by the included manual.

Chapter Two: Unboxing (2/5★)

Like the Hismith 4.0 Sex Machine, the Hismith Platform arrived in an unassuming, generic brown box. The contents were separated into three distinct layers.

Shown below is the first layer, a fitted box filled with assorted parts.

Concerningly, the most mechanically complex portion of the unit is not padded in any way. Instead, the wide end of the column was wedged between the second and third layers of packaging to somewhat reduce unwanted movement during transit.

Shown below is the second layer of the box.

Below the column, the platform top and legs were snugly fitted into a cardboard and foam basin and wrapped in plastic.

Shown below is the third and bottom layer of the box.

Assembly was straight forward. The top, column and legs are screwed together using twelve bolts and the provided wrench. Once assembled, users may choose between a “Suction cup base” or a “Roller base”. The “suction cup base form of the platform . . . is more stable and safer”, but the “roller base form” is more mobile².

Personally, I opted for the roller base so I could cart the Hismith Platform in and out of my bathroom, but I regretted my decision as I plapped with bigger and bigger dildos.

More on that later.

Shown below are the complete contents of the package.

Chapter Three: Usage (4/5★)

Section One: Operation

Mounting a 4.0 Sex Machine onto the Hismith Platform is easy. The legs simply rest inside molded recesses on the Platform. To note, there are two recesses of differing lengths; the Hismith Platform is designed to accommodate the “Hismith Premium and Table Top 2.0 Series machines” ⁽¹⁾, or more specifically, Ak01 and Ak07 models, as indicated by the included Hismith guide.

Additionally, each recess has a pair of drilled holes to accept included fasteners. I didn’t bother securing my machine the Platform using the included screws, but I enjoy the option for increased stability.

Shown below is a leg of my 4.0 Sex Machine fitted onto the Hismith Platform. Despite no mention of 4.0 compatibility it’s a flush fit!

Section Two: Safety

The Hismith Platform is proported to “support up to 60kg of weight” ⁽²⁾. No Sex Machine with attachments sold by Hismith is going to test the maximum capacity of the Platform.

That’s my fucking body weight.

You could mount me on the Hismith Platform.

The Hismith platform can either be equipped with wheels or suction cups. I recommend the latter, if possible. The wheels feel cheap — shockingly so. Molded completely from plastic, they’re no more durable than a budget, miniature office chair.

Like one you’d give a fucking cat.

Shown below is an optional wheel attachment.

Given the price of the Hismith Platform, I had hoped the wheels would be considerably more rugged, maybe even rubberized to secure a grip against hardwood floors. Despite activating the in-built locks during use, the wheels lacked the traction to effectively keep Hismith Platform from moving during heated sessions.

I like being rectally railed, rammed and ruined.

Whenever my Sex Machine experienced resistance (for example, a dildo slipped out), the platform would be pushed out of reach. I had to regularly stop my Machine and readjust to continue.

Chapter Three: Maintenance (5/5★)

Section One: Cleaning

There are few moving parts to the Hismith Platform. Cleaning the unit is as simple as wiping down its surfaces with disinfectant or soapy water. Personally, I used isopropyl alcohol to prevent streaking on its smooth surfaces.

Section Three: Repairs

Hismith does not sell any replacement parts for the Hismith Platform.

Section Two: Storage

The Hismith Platform doubles as a compact table. When not in use, I wheeled it to the foot of my bed (a region of my room too cramped even for a shelf). With a carrying capacity of “up to 60kg of weight”, I even used my Platform as an end table and a makeup desk.

But breaking down the unit for storage isn’t so straightforward. The top, column and base will need to be carefully disassembled using the provided wrench. The Hismith Platform isn’t intended to be taken apart once it’s put together.

Shown below is the Hismith Platform next to my bed and door. As you can see, it’s no wider than a nightstand and barely taller than, with a mounted machine than a door handle.

Chapter Four: Quality (3/5★)

Section One: Build

I enjoyed the jet black steel frame and matte plastic top. But for the price, you’d expect a significantly more rigid plastic top or maybe even full carbon steel frame. The top readily flexes, failing to inspire confidence the Platform can “support up to 60kg of weight” ⁽²⁾. The provided base attachments, the “suction cups” and lockable wheels are wholly plastic, unable to secure a grip and keep the complete assembly in place.

Hismith branding is scant on the unit. Featuring no more than a printed logo on top, I had hoped the Hismith Platform had received the same love as the wonderful 4.0 Sex Machine; virtually every part had “Hismith” and their logo proudly printed, illuminated or molded.

The Hismith Platform feels like a knock off table you’d overpay for on Amazon.

Chapter Seven: Verdict (3/5★)

I wish there was an alternative, but the Hismith Platform is practically a necessity for Hismith Sex Machine owners. Though it’s quality is lacking, this stand does perform it’s civic duty as a glorified tabletop to stabilize your Machine.

I’m happy to own a Hismith Platform, and it’s practically inseparable from the companion Sex Machines — but it’s obscenely overpriced given the overall quality. I wish I could recommend an alternative, but this product is too important for anyone interested in the Hismith Sex Machines to pass up.