Don Juan Of The Galaxy

Foreword

Since I last wrote a review for Don Juan Of The Galaxy (on April 23rd, 2020), a handful of updates have been issued to the game. I wrote a highly negative review due to the lack of content the game offered on release. The creator strongly discouraged negative reviews due to the (clearly) unfinished nature of the game. It is in my opinion that the creator should have not released the game publicly in such an incomplete state — rather, I think that it should have remained behind the scenes, where it could ferment with updates and testing. Additionally, it’s up to users to pay attention to when and whom posts reviews, and not to take a single opinion as representative of a game’s whole.

Recently (as of May 28th, 2020), the creator of this game has respectfully reached out to me. They have informed me about new content, following up on a previous response regarding the early state of the title. I have decided to revisit this game, and update my review with my opinion on the game in its current state.

Disclaimer

For the purposes of this review, I am not playing the “Uncensored” version of Don Juan Of The Galaxy. This is because I am playing the version of the game that is available on Steam, and it is in my opinion that purchasing and installing the “Uncensored” version of the game off Steam would warrant an independent review.

Gameplay

. . . in a nutshell

Huh, this looks strikingly similar Breeders of the Nephelym: Alpha. . .

out the shell. . .

You run about an open-world and bang anything that moves. That’s the gist of the game, and frankly, there isn’t much else to say. You have a health bar and what appears to be a magic bar, but neither see any use in-game. I understand that many features are not-yet included in this title, but I am eager to see what else is to come in the future.

There’s plenty to explore — but little reason to do so. I love open-world games. I grew up on the Elder Scrolls, but unlike Skyrim, there’s little rewarding about leaving the beaten path. There are no camps to raid, flowers to pick, or stories to be heard. Sure, you can admire the scenery — but I find that hard to do from a rigid, third person view. Granted, the only way to find some islands is to swim about the open ocean. . . but swimming for minutes on end isn’t very fun to do or watch. Be on the look-out for items that you can add to your inventory, such as vibrators or the elusive myndax starfish. Items play a part in quests, allowing you to access new characters and sex scenes.

If the game favors the player to run non-stop, running speed should be the default speed, with walking speed optional (using the “Shift” key). For feck’s sakes!

Story

Don Juan Of The Galaxy wastes no time with fancy cutscenes or introductions. Tras finds himself crash-landed on a strange planet, thankfully one with breathable air, intelligent, friendly lifeforms, and with zero casualties. Tras truly is man of unbridled luck. His journey begins on the island of Wynmouth, one of many islands on planet Trenius. Each island is ruled by a group of “elites”.

To travel between islands, Tres must utilize a network of portals. The portals are maintained by “Guardians”, chubby, multi-tentacled beings that (presumably) serve as peacekeepers. To use the portals, Tras must cough-up “Passport Points” which mysteriously come into his possession following sexual intercourse. What passport points are and how they work is left unanswered.

It’s important to note that this game is nonlinear. In other words, what happens following Tras’ crash will differ between players. Chances are, most players will travel to the island of Alasor after encountering Wynmouth’s Guardian. There, Tras will encounter Alasor’s elite guardswomen, whom demand a good shaggin’ in order to entertain Tras’ audience. In my case, I swam into the open ocean, where I found Delisman Island. There, the inhabitants offer their sexual services, following the completion of a fetch quest.

At the end of the day, Tras wants to get his spaceship repaired. But until he finds the parts he needs, he’s gonna be sure to take full advantage of Tresian hospitality. . . and I don’t blame him!

Visuals

Though the titlescreen looks good and polished, I wasn’t fond of it. I felt as though I was playing an online service of sorts, and I would have liked to have seen a more traditional title-screen. Audio and graphical settings can be adjusted from titlescreen and in-game via “Settings”. There is a “low performance” option, which disables non-essential foliage. This is a great selection to have, increasing accessibility for lower-end PCs.

However. . .

It’s great to see some things haven’t changed — this game rendered my rig so hot it caused my system to crash. If your game wants to chew up 100% system resources, it had better have a darn good reason. I needed to research a means to reduce the heat strain this game caused my PC. I ended up using an FPS limiter using Nvidia Control Panel.

The Goods

There are a couple sexual animations the player can partake in with NPCs. They look okay. The actors will often clip with the terrain, and there is little interactivity (beyond adjusting the speed of the animations). It’s cool that there is a “point of view” mode, allowing you to see through Tras’ eyes. Problem being, you can’t look around in POV mode, so it kind of sucks.

. . . expect male-on-female sexual intercourse.

Verdict

In its current state, I still don’t recommend this title, and I still think it should have undergone more development prior to a public release. Despite my concerns, I strongly suggest keeping this game on your wishlist, and keeping an idea on updates. This is absolutely a promising title, and if you’re interesting and getting your word in, it’s free to play — download it, and voice your concerns to the creator. Just. . . don’t let your PC melt in the process.