Cow Girls is a lewd jigsaw puzzle game about a man and his “cow girls” that make him solve puzzles in exchange for their milk. . . ?
No. Woot! Woot!
Foreword: published December 26th, 2021
I received a free copy of this game for review purposes — thanks Hunny Bunny Studio! For the purposes of this review, I will only be discussing the patched game.
If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Beyond this ecosystem, my reviews are censored and cut-away, forever doomed to the shadow realm. All it takes is some asshole having a bad day for all my content to disappear.
Gameplay: published December 26th, 2021 (3/5★)
There are twelve thirty-piece puzzles to unscramble (but there are more than twelve images to unlock!) Cow Girls is without incremental or adjustable difficulty. I was able to complete each puzzle in a minute or two.
Sexual Content: published December 26th, 2021 (3/5★)
There’s fifteen unlockable animations and ten unlockable comic book pages. The CGs focus on an assortment of “cow girls”, but a few are reserved for the main protagonists. The comics are for the “story”, offering a mix of sexual and wholesome moments.
The artwork and animation are decent, but they’re far-removed from “professional”. You can tell the artist tried their best, but some of the angles look a little off. The characters either move somewhat robotically or like jelly — either way, these cow girls need to go to the vet! They are pasted onto backgrounds, causing them to appear as though they’re floating in front of a greenscreen. However, I appreciated all of the animated visual effects, which help bring each CG to life. The comic book pages are displayed panel-by-panel, but it gets really annoying waiting for the game to “load” the next one.
Story: published December 26th, 2021 (2/5★)
Hunny Bunny Studio writes,
“You just want to buy milk, but fate loves to slip adventures where you don’t expect it. On the farm, you will meet a milkmaid who will make you play the game by her rules. Play the puzzle with the milkmaid. This is the only way you can get her milk.”
Imagine if “her milk” was in your breakfast. . . mmm, mm!
Sound: published December 26th, 2021 (3/5★)
Cow Girls has a theme song! I couldn’t understand a single word and it cuts off abruptly, but it’s the sort of thing I’d love to hear on my off time. Past the opening cutscene is a mix of generic, soothing piano — more what I expect from a lewd puzzle game. I had no qualms with the piano, but it’s not my kind of music.
Whenever you put a piece in the correct position, you’ll hear a playful giggle. There’s a few different laugh tracks, but they really should be toggleable. I didn’t mind the added effect, but some players may only be interested in the sound of clicking pieces. I imagine it’s but an oversight, but all dialogue seem to be unaffected by the settings menu.
Visuals: published December 26th, 2021 (4/5★)
Hunny Bunny Studio really tried to set Cow Girls apart from similar games; the interface is reasonably attractive, and there’s a lot of visual effects to keep your eyes busy. These include animated mascots, fun loading screens, and an angled view of the playing board.
I thought the border between pieces was a little too dramatic. It’s difficult to see the image as you’re piecing it together, which takes away from the excitement. It’s like you’re not allowed to enjoy the image until it’s completely finished! The thick borders also make it difficult to compare the edges of pieces without placing them side-by-side.
Verdict: published December 26th, 2021 (3/5★)
For what you’re getting, Cow Girls is almost a steal! As long as you can look past the average art and low, non-adjustable difficulty, you can’t go wrong with this purchase. Cow Girls has double the bang for your buck than the average adult jigsaw game!