CLOCKWORK PUSSY is a lewd third-person beat-’em-up about a “hooker” on the search for a hidden treasure.

Adult Content?
(FxM) sexual content.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
Thirty minutes.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.


Gameplay: overview (1/5★)


Search for hidden items and beat-up gang members! The goal of the game. . . is unclear. Supposedly, there is “1 complete level“. After collecting a “keycard” and beating up a few groups of baddies, I couldn’t figure out what to do next. Ultimately, you’re supposed to find a something “hidden in the ocean” — you’re able to gain a preview of where and what you’re ‘sposed to find by skipping ahead to “Level 3”, but only the first level as any sort of meaningful playability. Despite lacking any sort of combat, I found “Level 3” to be the most interesting experience. In this level, you must search the ocean while managing your breath — the scenery is pretty and swimming is fun. As far as I’m concerned, there is no way to “finish” any levels. The second level offers a customizable car and highly-detailed “shop”, complete with assorted car-parts. As someone that’s uneducated on cars and how they work, I’m clueless on functionality of each part — if Orgipix Prod and Ojoy Studios plan on keeping “Level 2” the way it is, they’ll need to make it easier to assemble your ride.




Sexual Content: overview (2/5★)


There’s one animated sex-scene. Maybe there’s more, but I only saw one. It appears that sex-scenes are unlocked at designated, story-based locations. The one I saw featured a single animation loop, with voiced lines and sloppy sounds. The protagonist looks alright, but the antagonist (or her old, crooked-tooth partner) looks vile — I don’t know who’d want to fappy-fap to anything with his face. There are also a few in-game sexual animations, but it’s difficult to get a good view of them. Clipping and visual errors are rampant.




Story: overview (2/5★)


The in-game dialogue isn’t great, so instead of re-reading and re-writing it, I’m going to quote the developers;

Anais was a very famous whore, precisely because she had good sex as few whores did. She went from being a talented sex worker to traveling the world. However, her last client was a very mysterious rich man. An obsessive vehicle collector and passionate about mechanics. Before he died, he decided to donate his motorized patrimony to the young bitch, mainly after discovering that she learned to repair cars, motorcycles, and boats with her brother.

This “mysterious rich man” is a member of the Yakuza — and apparently the Yakuza are group of unkempt fatsos with crowbars that donate billion-dollar properties to “luxury hookers”.



Sound: overview (2/5★)


Mousing over the interface yields a hellish rapid-fire of “button noises”. The music is totally inappropriate, it doesn’t suit the game. I felt as though I should have been aboard some sort of spaceship, hurtling though the stars in search of adventure — instead, I was playing a hooker that can walk through cars (I mean, that’s in the same vane right?) The sound effects are cheesy and somewhat jarring. The sex-scenes offer iffy dialogue. It sounded mechanical, almost as if a machine was used to procure the lines.



Visuals: overview (2/5★)


The titlescreen is nicely arranged, but the artwork and animation could use some work. The protagonist looks imposed, and the animation is a little distracting. From “Options”, you may adjust audio, display and graphical preferences. You may also remap your keys. Graphically, CLOCKWORK PUSSY is a mixed bag. It reminds me of those cheap “hentai” games (that don’t actually have hentai and egregiously misuse premade assets). There’s a distinct lack of collision throughout the world, allowing you to phase through objects such as cars and assorted doors. After setting my settings to “max”, my PC struggled to maintain a good framerate (I ran this application on a laptop armed with a RTX 2060). I think this was due to the oversized, unoptimized explorable worlds each “level” offered.




Verdict: CLOCKWORK PUSSY, MORE LIKE MOCKWORK (2/5★)


Dear Divines, I ask for your forgiveness — what have I done to deserve such punishment? I’m but a mortal, my mind and soul shall never be reborn. I’ve but one lifetime, and this CLOCKWORK PUSSY is now a part of it. I used to think Orgipix Prod and Ojoy Studios were a pair of serious studios with lackluster coders. After playing CLOCKWORK PUSSY, I am confident they are not interested in coding quality games. I think they produce terrible games in bulk, capitalizing on bad publicity. I know this is an “Early Access Game” — but it’s still dysfunctional software being sold for seven dollars. I’d rather fold my money into origami boats and float them down a stream (I’d probably get more playtime out of them too!) Maybe Orgipix Prod and Ojoy Studios make good on their games through quality updates. I wouldn’t know, because HardPunch: Subverse isn’t a game I’m too eager to revisit. I think CLOCKWORK PUSSY is the worst game I’ve played this year. I know I’m being harsh, but I don’t think this game should have been publicly released (or sold) on Steam. It’s a buggy, visually abhorrent mess that soaks up a concerning amount of processing power — you deserve better.