HardPunch: Subverse is a lewd action-RPG about a woman on the path to become the new goddess of sexual desires.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
Thirty minutes.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Gameplay

Spam attack and roll — or more accurately, spam attack and heal! Though it’s possible to dodge attacks, I’ve found that enemies don’t telegraph their movements enough to justify any form of “dodge” mechanic. The goal of the game is to beat three big baddies, and enter some sort of portal; barring them, every other enemy can be avoided, potentially cutting down playtime to about five or ten minutes. Most enemies guard “porn zombies” or “sexual mutants”, which can be sexed-up to acquire healing potions, permanent upgrades, and sexual cutscenes. Take care not to touch any “poison” traps — they can instantly kill you! In the world of HardPunch: Subverse, you only live once. In other words, if you die, you must restart the game (and there’s no such thing as saving either!)

Story

The game doesn’t divulge much information about the story, so let’s take a look at the Store Page.

The hardPunch heroine lives in a post-apocalyptic world where the goddess Venus is the cult object of the survivors. Humanity has become sterile. Creatures are created in laboratories through genetic engineering. The world has become horrendous, wicked, and extremely dangerous.

Based on my understanding of the game, “hardPunch heroine” is trying to acquire the power of Venus. Venus is the goddess of sex and desire, and as it turns out, our heroine loves sex. Fortunately, gaining Venus’ favor is as easy as entering a portal. Unfortunately, that portal is guarded by those lab grown creatures. . . because reasons?

Well, you’re not really here for the story are you?

Visuals

The titlescreen is alright. I enjoyed the goopy heroine, but I would have appreciated an animated presentation. I don’t understand the inclusion for “WASD” keys — considering this is a PC game, aren’t WASD controls a given? From “Options”, you may adjust audio, control and display preferences. Overall, the “Options” menu is sincerely lacking in functionality. Keen observers may notice a lack of “continue” or “load” options. They are absent due to lack of save functionality. There is no gallery, forcing you to replay the game to review adult content. The “esc” button will close the application — yet the game literally tells you to hit “esc” to exit menus. (thus closing the game). I guess, technically it exits menus, eh?

Devs, can we make the “esc” key function toggleable?

The Goods

I don’t know how many sex-scenes there are, but they are either rendered in-game or via animated cutscenes. The in-game animations are marred by the messy interface, and don’t sync correctly — as a matter of fact, you are permitted to move normally (while continuing the sex animation)! The cutscenes are comprised of multiple animations, with written dialogue. All adult content is linear, and possesses no interactivity. Also, there are only a handful of animations.

As a game “with strong SEXUAL CONTENT!“, the a sexual content misses its mark.

The models are. . . okay at best. The developers’ idea of “post-apocalyptic” mostly came off as weird to me. I didn’t enjoy any of the cast. The main protagonist is somewhat attractive, but I’m skeptical most people will find her body-part backpack to be attractive (speaking of which, why does she have a dismembered body on her back in the first place?!) Many animations feature “stuck” body parts, as if the animators forgot to move them. The most egregious example of “stuck animation” is the final sequence, in which the protagonist spends the whole scene with her mouth agape. And the jumpcuts! The scenes constantly change angles — this, along with progression and climax, should be up to the player.

I didn’t buy this game to watch porn, I bought it to play porn!

Verdict

What a train wreck. Don’t buy this game — at least, wait for updates (and lots of them!) HardPunch: Subverse is a poor man’s Dark Souls with lewd content — don’t get me wrong, that’s my kind of game, but this game isn’t fun. It’s a buggy mess that lacks the most basic features (like save functionality). If you touch the wrong thing, you die. If you fall off a ledge, you may get stuck and be forced to restart the game. Heck, if you press the wrong key (“esc”), the game closes (and you lose everything). Much of the game boils down to spamming attacks and the offhand heal. HardPunch: Subverse simply isn’t fun, and the adult content isn’t worth the effort. I guess you could say, HardPunch: Subverse won’t get you. . . hard!


Wombat Woe! — “Don’t jump!” [Jan 21th 2021]

If you jump from a high place, an animation will play signifying the hard landing. However, if you jump from too high a place, you’ll take light damage and ragdoll — also, the game will soft lock, because you’ll never get back up (regardless of remaining hit points). For this reason, I recommend never jumping, ever (unless absolutely necessary).

Wombat Woe! — “Recharging. . .” [Jan 21th 2021]

If you “Fuck Spoil”, a sexual animation will play. In addition, a small window will pop-up, showcasing pre-rendered cutscene. If you break the cancel the animation before it would normally end (such as by jumping), the window will never go away.