Hentai Resort

Foreword

I originally published a review for Hentai Resort on March 5th, 2020. I have updated that review, to reflect my thoughts on this game as of September, 2020. I stand by my opinion that Hentai Resort is bad game, but I am honestly impressed by the amount of content the developers have included for the price of one dollar. I’m sure if this game was way refined, it could have easily warranted a five dollar price tag. Hentai Resort could have been a dating simulator with a minigames and hentai, but to this day it remains a. . . last resort — eh? Eh?

Gameplay

. . . in a nutshell

This game is basically a bunch of (bad) minigames that are navigated via a 3D, open world. Between the days and nights different characters and places will become available. To jump between day and night, you can use your bed to skip time. Female characters sport “Affection Meters”, which are filled by playing minigames. Once the meter caps, you can take these characters to your room.

Once they’re in your room, you can strip ‘n pose ’em!

out the shell. . .

There’s a rock-paper-scissors game, which is long and tedious. Or you can cheat, and wait for your opponent to pick her move (and react to her with zero penalty). In another game you must listen to a series of sounds (or watch on-screen shapes), and correctly replicate the order they were played in. One game involves smashing the mouse button (in rapid succession), and another dropping bombs on moving targets.

The last is one is way lamer than it sounds.

One game is a sort of “whack-a-mole”, where you take-out “husbandos” and avoid “waifus”. There’s a “Flappy Birds” clone, where you navigate a plane between “cloud walls”. On the beach you can even play a long and arduous game of “Break Out”. There are even more minigames that I haven’t mentioned, but each of them slow and repetitive.

The games took so long to play, I wrote parts of this review while I playing them.

Story

There is no story (but I’ll make one up) — you play a tourist staying at the Hentai Resort, and he’s a player. Hentai resort is a sad, sad hotel. In one corner of the lobby, a shirtless man pathetically dances beside a wall of liquor, with no crowd to behold him. A faceless man sits in the lobby, oblivious to his predicament. The ladies have nothing better to do than play mobile games (with our player) to pass the time. They’re so desperate for attention they’ll dance and strip for anyone who’ll give them five minutes’ time.

Visuals

The titlescreen features an awkward mash of poor animation and lifeless characters. Other than that, the menu includes (minimal) settings and the option to start (one) game. The in-game visuals look good enough. They are coherent, but look very amateurish (and the characters low quality). There is a “head bob” effect which is jarring, and should be toggleable.

The Goods

There is no significant adult content. Once you cap a woman’s “relationship meter” you can invite her to your room. There, you can remove her top and make her dance. The models are low poly and not well animated — the clip a ton and move unnaturally. Their nipples appear strangely realistic, when compared against the models’ anime aesthetic.

Verdict

I don’t recommend this game. Credit where credit’s due, this title is a steal considering the number of “mini games” it features. But this is a classic example of quantity vs quality. You’re better off buying one “mini game” done right. If your game-budget is what you’d find on the sidewalk, Hentai Resort will probably be one of the best bangs for your buck.