Mr.King Luo!Don’t be kidding is a shoot-’em-up about escaping hell and shootin’-up the lords of hell, whom happen to be cute ladies.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
To be determined.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Game-play?
Three or four hours.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Foreword

Attention!

This article is pending review. It is either incomplete, out-of-date, or I feel the need to disclaim my shame for a something I’m not proud of.

Gameplay

. . . in a nutshell

I need to make some revisions.

out the shell. . .

This game plays-out first and foremost like any other shoot-’em-up. Your character can shoot a continuous stream of projectiles, and he can gain more projectiles (and homing ones too) using power-ups dropped by enemies. Enemies can soak up multiple projectiles, but you can’t. In other words, if you get hit once, you die. You get three lives, and then it’s game-over. You’ll drop all of your power-ups, but if you are quick enough you might be able to come-back with most (if not all) of your former power.

In addition your standard projectiles, you also have a screen-clearing power. It has three uses, but can be restocked with random drops. You have an ultimate power, which (I think) is restocked between collecting lots of power-ups. Speaking of power-ups, they double as currency. Enemies drop a lot of them, but to upgrade your abilities, it will cost you lots and lots of currency. You can also collect “reels”, which are used to unlock images in the Gallery. It took me about an hour to collect enough for the first image.

You also have a set of “side-weapons”. One of them is sword which clears projectiles. It’s my favorite weapon, and it has saved my rear countless times. There’s a magic ink which absorbs projects, and a bell which makes you invincible (for a short-while). Your weapon recharges every few seconds, but seconds count in this game. As a matter of fact, split seconds count, which brings me to difficulty.

Let me preface by saying that I’m not good at shoot-’em-ups. This game has three difficulty settings, ranging from “normal” to “hard” and “hard-er”. I opted for “normal”, and gosh were my hands sweating. It takes about five-minutes to get to the boss (in the first few levels), and the bosses have several “forms”, meaning you will have to put-up with lots of health bars and attacks. The second stage had my heart pounding, because you were confined in some (shrinking) coridor with spears shooting through the sides and enemies firing death-lasers from above.

In this game’s defense though, it does provide a lot of variety. I think that you only have to defeat the final bosses once (at least in “normal”) to unlock story-content and the next stage. But this game didn’t feel very accessible to a poor player like myself, though it got a lot-more fun once I maxed out a power to auto-collect power-ups. The bosses were very frustrating, and spending another six or seven minutes to get to the boss-form I loss to got boring.

Story

The game starts with the protagonist (Dai–zong), who comes upon the revelation that he is dead. At least, he thinks he’s dead. He finds himself in a place which bears a striking resemblance to what his grandpa described as death. Apparently, he’s able to fly and shoot magical projectiles. . . if you ask me, I’d think I was dead too if I could do that.

After shooting his way through spirits and evil fishies, Dai-Zong comes across a lady named Ziwen. Apparently, she’s a judge, and the protagonist interrupted her lunch break. He learns that he is actually in Hell, and that Hell’s leadership are attractive women. She claims that he has sinned, but cannot tell him why. Instead, he is redirected to some-sort of help department. She can however, tell him why he died.

A lightning strike. Now that’s a way to go!

Dai-Zong finds himself escorted to the aforementioned help-department. There, Gung-sun learns of his punishment. He is to undergo eighteen punishments over two-hundred years. Still, no-one tells him how he sinned, and instead he winds-up escorted (to his first punishment). He escapes to a nearby river and meets an old man.

The old man give Dai-Zong tools to “raise hell”, so maybe, just maybe he will be able to escape Hell’s clutches. This is about where “Stage Two” starts in-game.

Visuals

The menu is flashy, but I found very slow and tedious to navigate. I’d rather be able to mouse-over the option I want, rather than moving through scrolls one-by-one. The actual game is divided into two halves, one the main-game (or the shoot-’em-up part), and the other you equipped-weapon, lives and so-on. The visuals go-together, and there’s quite a bit of movement to keep your eyes busy. As for the gallery, I only managed to unlock one image before I decided to hit the hay.

It looked good. I’m not sure about any “sexual content”, but if there is, I’m sure it looks good too.

Verdict

If you’re bad at shoot-’em-ups, I don’t recommend this game. If you want quick-‘n-easy nudity or adult-content, I would look elsewhere (such as Epido). If you want to challenge your skills as a floaty, shooty man (against the lords of Hell), then this title is definitely worth a looksy.