A-GIRL Review (1/5★)

Table of Contents

Chapter One: Introduction

I received a free, early release copy of this game from makabaka.

makabaka sent a string of drooling emojis and nothing else to describe the game. A-GIRL is clearly a low effort Unity asset flip, but even asset flips can be fun for at least an hour or two.

I deeply regret installing this game.

Chapter Two: Gameplay (1/5★)

Section One: Overview

After choosing a character, you’re pitted against endless foes. By collecting an assortment of fruit and magic crystals, your character will level-up and cast an assortment of deadly spells to cull oncoming foes. Upon death or defeating the stage boss, characters can be upgraded by spending collected “sapphires” for an assortment of permanent buffs.

Section Two: Customization

Each playable character has a handful of toggleable cosmetics. Some characters can be stripped down to their undies, but there is no nudity to see unfortunately.

The following is as customized (and naked) as you can get.

Section Three: Balance

The enemies are dumb as bricks and easy to kite; some foes have ranged attacks, but as long as you stay on the move it’s difficult for enemies to catch up. Supposedly, the game has bosses but I couldn’t bring myself to play long enough to see them.

Section Four: Controls

I’m not sure if I’ve ever played worse controls in my life. As a top-down shooter, you’d think A-GIRL would use the mouse cursor to point projectiles — but no that’d make too much sense.

Instead, players have to aim using the “Q” and “E” keys using a tiny cursor that is often hidden behind enemies and scenery.

I quickly gave up on WASD controls when I realized I don’t have enough fingers.

Chapter Three: Sexual Content (NA/5★)

Section One: Content

A-GIRL does not have any nudity or sexual content.

Section Two: Implementation

Players have “the option to remove characters’ clothing.”

Section Three: Interactivity

A-GIRL does not have any interactive sexual content.

Section Four: Quality

I wasn’t impressed by the provided “adorable female characters” or their underwear.

Chapter Four: Story (1/5★)

Section One: Overview

There is no story to write about.

Section Two: Plot

There is no in-game dialogue or exposition.

Section Three: Characters

There’s Lily, Rosie, Luna, MagiCat and. . . an unnamed character represented by an animated heart. Once again, there is no dialogue or exposition to add any meaningful content.

Section Three: Writing

There is no writing to write about.

Chapter Five: Sound (1/5★)

Section One: Soundtrack

Featuring no more than a few stock tracks, I already hated the game before I clicked “start”.

if the music isn’t already grating the moment A-GIRL boots a few minutes of gameplay will surely have you reaching for the “mute” button on your keyboard.

Section Two: Sound Effects

A-GIRL is distinctly quiet. It feels like the game is missing sound effects for enemies, upgrades and navigation. Overall, the lack of sound effects gives the game unfinished feeling.

To be fair, I was given a copy of this game before release. . . but I don’t have my hopes up.

Chapter Six: Visuals (1/5★)

Section One: Title Screen

The title screen fails to instill confidence in a quality product.

Between the off-center title, generic background and mismatched fonts, the title screen is the first warning for players to turn back and refund their purchase.

Section Two: User Configuration

Players can adjust audio levels, language, resolution, and “quality” from the “Setting” menu.

Shown below is the hilariously off-center “Setting” screen.

Section Two: Navigation

Navigation is a pain in the ass thanks to awkward English and non-intuitive UI. Consider the following image; while browsing for a character, I clicked “SKILL”.

You’d think “QUIT” would exit the SKILL window, but QUIT actually takes you back to the title screen. Clicking off-screen won’t close the window either. You have to click “SKILL” again to close the window and continue browsing characters.

Section Two: Graphics

Nothing about this game is consistent. It’s clear everything about this game was tossed together, an asset salad if you will. With clashing textures, models and visual effects, this is one salad you should avoid for your own sake.

Chapter Seven: Verdict (1/5★)

I knew I needed to temper my expectations, but I wasn’t expecting such an awful game. A-GIRL needs cursor control and some serious optimization. Until then, any possibility of fun is non-existent for all but the most powerful PCs and the masochistic players.

Performance

A-GIRL could barely run itself. If the game didn’t outright crash, it slowed to a crawl as enemies populated the screen. I’ve never played a game that ran my PC down so quickly. I thought I downloaded a fucking virus.

The following clip is an example of the god-awful FPS.

System Specifications

I installed this software on a Windows 10 machine with an Intel Core i7-8750H CPU, an RTX 2060 GPU and sixteen gigabytes of RAM. The software was installed onto a preinstalled HDD (manufacturer unknown).

Questions, requests or comments?