Chapter One: Introduction
Now this was a game I was excited for! Fi da Puti Samurai has undergone quite a bit of positive updates since I last played. It’s a game I periodically play because, well it’s a fun game.
As “v0.75a”, I have mustered the courage to write a review on this roguelike shooter! It took me maybe fifteen hours to beat the game on the highest difficulty, but at lower settings it would likely take just three to five hours. Fortunately, Fi da Puti Samurai has quite a lot of replay value thanks to procedurally generated maps..
To note, the version of the game I played and reviewed already differs by three updates — Zanardi and Liza (not to be confused with the characters in-game) are no doubt working hard on this title!
Chapter Two: Gameplay (4/5★)
Section One: Overview
Liza is sick of “quarantine time”, but her friend (or boyfriend, perhaps) Zanardi has a solution! Lending his headset, Liza lets off some steam inside a “Cozy Cabin” of his creation. But digging deeper, she finds a portal into his computer — transforming her peaceful retreat into a procedurally generated combat exercise!
As Liza shoots her way through Zanardi’s secrets, the “scan wall” creeps closer, purging all that it passes over. Should she be caught (or shot. . . or blown up), she’s forced to restart with nothing more than the money she collects along the way. . . as long as you make “deposits” inside randomly spawned mailboxes.
What, you thought Liza’s bags of cash would teleport home when she’s knocked unconscious? In my experience, money doesn’t tend to stick around when I’m not alive to watch it!
Section Two: Combat
Liza must adapt to her enemies and their weapons. Projectiles move fast, but not fast enough to hit a player with good situational awareness. Memorizing enemy spawns is essential for avoiding surprise attacks from behind. At high difficulties, nothing’s more frustrating than dying from something out of sight.
The best defense in Fi da Puti Samurai is shoot first (and don’t miss).
But reflexes and memorization is only part of the battle; every weapon has a time and place, even if only to match available ammunition. The Fi da Puti Samurai sandbox encourages players to alternate weapons.
For example, groups of fox and rabbit girls are encountered in crowded buildings. Carrying high damage, burst-fire weapons such as shotguns and SMGs, it’s best to fight fire with fire by matching weapons. Later in the game, energy-based firearms are a must to keep boss-type enemies at a distance.
In the following clip, I show examples of the aforementioned enemies and weapons. After memorizing spawns, I knew better than to rush into the next car until luring out the fourth fox girl.
Section Three: Exploration
Every second the deadly “scan wall” looms closer, killing anything still alive — including Liza. In previous versions of the game, the scan wall moved substantially faster. In fact, you had finish fights while sprinting to prevent being “purged”. The new scan wall is kind of a bitch — it simply prevents backtracking.
Unless you’re a bitch and jump into it unwittingly (in which case, you kind of deserve it).
Each level is divided into four sort of “dungeons”, non-linear zones dominated by dangerous foes. Unlike the randomized “streets” before them, dungeons only differ by the order they’re encountered. During my playthrough, dungeons would end my run early depending on my gear.
In the following image, I purchase a “Flashlight” in preparation for underground dungeons.
If you don’t scavenge for supplies, Liza won’t make it very far. Though most damage can be mitigated by tactful gameplay, Liza is going to take a few hits from stray bullets (or rockets). Collecting weapons is a big part of gameplay, but finding armor is all too often the difference between life and death.
Liza without armor is no stronger than a uh, a fapkin. Gross.
Armor, among other helpful pick-ups are tucked away inside breakable objects and interactive vending machines. Players willing to go the extra mile will be rewarded; throughout the explorable world are unmarked “Secret Areas”, boasting trunks of cash and the very best weapons in the game.
Shown below, I locate armor inside a randomly spawned laundromat.
Section Three: Balance
I set the difficulty of my game to “WORSHIP ME!”, the hardest setting. Previously, I completed the game on “EVERY ONE IS NICE”, the easiest setting. The difference is night and day.
In EVERYONE IS NICE, bullets sort of just tickle Liza. Of course, damage adds up over time, but overall EVERYONE IS NICE trivializes the need to upgrade Liza’s equipment and strategically approach enemies. It’s as if everyone is being. . . nice to Liza (go figure). I didn’t experiment with “DON’T TAKE ME LIGHTLY” and “SLEDGEHAMMER THERAPY”, but I can safely say WORSHIP ME! doesn’t fuck around.
Have a look at the following clip. After missing my a shot, I turn around and attempt (keyword: attempt) to finish the job. As you can see, there is little room for error at this difficulty level.
Enemies strike Liza with devastating, pin-point attacks to punish the slightest mistakes. Don’t have armor? Dead. Dog hiding behind a corner? Dead. What’s that, you think you can just “Resume” your run after losing all of your weapons, ammo and upgrades? Fuck you, dead (and you’re naïve for trying).
WORSHIP ME! had me stuck on the first and second levels alone for five hours. To complete the game, I ultimately memorized every spawn point and the quickest, safest routes from start to finish. If you get a kick out of “speed running”, Fi da Puti Samurai is an ideal shooter for perfectionists.
There’s just enough randomization to keep gameplay consistent, but not overtly repetitive.
The following clip is perfect example of an avoidable death. Pay close attention to Liza’s health and armor, shown on the bottom left; with full armor, I could have survived. But had I known three enemies spawned in this room, I would have known to disengage after receiving the shotgun blast and leave.
Section Four: Controls
The game controls. . . okay, for the most part. Something about the cursor movement feels sticky.
Switching between weapons sucks ass. It’s your choice between number keys or the scroll wheel. Considering the game operates using WASD and mouse controls, any number key past “4” is out of reach. At high difficulty levels, there’s no time to take your fingers off of “WASD” keys or to fuck about scrolling.
It wouldn’t such an issue if there was an easy way to remap weapons.
Fi da Puti Samurai should take a page from the Borderlands series; up to four weapons can be equipped at once, faciliating rapid cycling via the scroll wheel and nearby number keys. If Zanardi and Liza insist on allowing more than four equipped weapons, then they should take a page from Doom or Serious Sam by having like-weapons be toggled by “double-tapping” their respective hotkeys.
In the following video, I “rebind” my number keys by selectively dropping and picking up my weapons. I’m in a safe place where no enemies spawn and the scan wall won’t progress; under normal circumstances, inventory management as shown is extremely dangerous.
Chapter Three: Sexual Content (NA/5★)
Section One: Content
Unfortunately, there is no nudity or pornographic content.
In an effort to “bring the game to more stores and audiences in the future”, Zanardi and Liza has made it clear there will be no “100% graphically nude” content. Fortunately, I’ve successfully modded Fi da Puti Samurai.
For those of you interested in full nudity, I recommend installing my very own Fi da Booty Samurai mod. Installation isn’t “drag-n’-drop”, but it only takes a few minutes.
Section Two: Implementation
Suggestive imagery can be found everywhere; billboards, cut-outs, DVDs, posters, magazines, even plastered onto firearms! I love the way adult content is crammed into nearly every nook and cranny of the explorable world. . . but at the same time, it feels strange to see so much softcore porn and not a single nippy slip.
Show below is a screenshot of my modded Fi da Booty Samurai.
Section Three: Interactivity
DVDS can be collected and played to see hidden, softcore (or unfortunately censored) animations. There’s also interactive “Doujin”, but no sexual content is shown inside.
The “Nudifier” weapon allows Liza to remove armor from her opponents, but nothing less than lingerie will be shown. It’s too bad the Nudifier is not a battle practical weapon; at the difficulty level I set my game to, I couldn’t find any time to safely play with the Nudifier.
Section Four: Quality
When Zanardi and Liza actually tried, the lewd graphics mesh seamlessly with the explorable world.
Though most of the artwork in this game is thematically on-point, stylistically it’s all a mixed bag. It’s clear a significant portion of content is rescaled JPEGs (or in some cases, shitty scans). Rife with visual artifacts and uncanny gradients, they’re a jarring deviation from an otherwise distinctively pixelated world.
Shown below is my favorite place to visit — a porn shop!
Chapter Four: Story (1/5★)
Section One: Overview
Liza finds more than she bargains for inside her boyfriend’s handmade virtual reality; such is the reality of poking around anyone’s personal files, she discovers what’s really insider his “work” folder.
Section Two: Plot
Zanardi and Liza writes,
“To help Liza on her quarantine time, Zanardi developed an interactive experience on a cozy cabin, to relax and put herself into another-dimension-for-the-mind.
Unfortunately, this application contains a very particular bug, where she may travel to Zanardi’s computer. And… while on it, she may find files and things that where hidden… for a good reason.”
The store page suggests Zarnardi created the hostile “cyberpunk world” Liza finds herself inside. I find it hard to believe he made the world, but Liza’s in-game conversation with him confirms he’s responsible.
Was he trying to make a first person shooter, or is the hostility of his world unintended?
After reaching the end of the game, Liza will encounter a cat named Fida. Offering “a way out” of an impossible situation, she (or he?) offers Liza the power she needs to face “commander”. He’s obviously a bad guy, but the game resets when I reach him — it seems Fida and commander are undergoing development.
Which begs the question, are Fida and commander that “particular bug”?
Section Three: Characters
Fi da Puti Samurai follows two characters, Liza and Zanardi. Zanardi has little presence in the game, only offering short-lived, rudimentary commentary with no plot relevance.
Despite serving as the player-character Liza has surprisingly little to say. You’d think she’d have a lot to say about her findings but it seems Zanardi and Liza haven’t bothered fleshing her out.
Section Three: Writing
There is little writing to talk about. Liza maintains a correspondence with Zanardi. After completing one run, there are no more emails between them. It’s a shame considering her emails could explain what’s going on.
Below is a screenshot of Liza’s conservation after discovering a porn shop.
Chapter Five: Sound (4/5★)
Section One: Soundtrack
Fi da Puti Samurai offers a bitchin’ synthetic score to match the cyberpunk dystopia Liza finds herself within. Despite hearing them for hours on repeat, they were a welcome backing track for blasting half-naked “waifus”.
I only have one complaint about the music; one of the sound bites is too close to the sounds Dogs make. Whenever I heard “ruff ruff” after the first boss fight, I lost my shit searching for hostile Dogs to uh, put down.
Section Two: Sound Effects
I enjoyed Fi da Puti Samurai‘s visceral sound effects. I’ll admit, the guns are a little much. Some players may need to make adjustments to “SOUND VOLUME” from the “Options” menu. But the thunder of Liza’s arsenal grew on me. My shotgun going “BOOM, CHICK CHICK, BOOM” made me feel like an absolute legend.
The following clip is nothing noteworthy, just a snippet of gameplay to show off Fi da Puti Samurai‘s voice acting, music and some BOOM, CHICK CHICK, BOOM.
Section Two: Voice Acting
I bet a lot of players will either find the voice acting to be “cringy” or “grating”. Though overplayed, it’s a perfect match for the overtly sexualized setting. It’s definitely the sort of dialogue that may raise brows out of context.
Rabbit girls and their robotic companions scream and moan with high-pitched dialogue. I’d describe the experience like watching hentai — at a gun range! On the other hand, punk girls are more like what I imagine “big tiddy goth girls” sound like. When they aren’t bitching about mundane shit, they mock Liza like bullying is going out of style. They remind me of raiders’ dialogue in Fallout 4.
To be ridiculed as “little girl” despite wearing power armor made me feel vulnerable — like they knew inside was a naked lawyer with no business outside of her cryo pod.
Liza is criminally under-voiced. Hearing her scream “Dammit!” or “I hate you!” always brought a smile to my face. I like to imagine she’s shouting in person (likely to Zanardi’s displeasure). In the following clip, Liza protests as she’s destroyed by an vending machine from behind. Yes, a fucking vending machine.
Chapter Six: Visuals (4/5★)
Section One: User-interface
Fi da Puti Samurai‘s user-interface is wonderfully retro.
The presentation of Liza’s weapons and ammunition is stylish and functional! Despite showing all of her ammunition and weapons at once, I don’t find the screen to be cluttered. If anything, knowing how much of everything I had made it easier to determine how to cycle my gear in response to ammo scarcity.
Interestingly, Liza’s health and armor icons (shown on the bottom left) seem to be cut off. I have a feeling this visual error will be patched by the time I publish this article, but it always bothered me.
After completing the game, Liza collects some sort of magical cat. . . thing that appears on the bottom-center screen. Like “Doom Guy” from the original Doom series, she glances about and visually reflects Liza’s remaining hit points. Maybe Liza’s face would have made more sense, but it was fun while it lasted.
Whether or not I encountered a bug remains to be seen, but after dying she disappeared. Sad.
The following image is a lovely example of Fi da Puti Samurai‘s user-interface. Shown is the aforementioned “magical cat” alongside a heavily stocked inventory.
Section Two: Graphics
Fi da Puti Samurai‘s art direction harkens back to PS2-era graphics. . . I think — I didn’t grow up on PS2 games. Featuring low poly models with pixelated textures, the game has a distinct look and feel. Taking place inside an “interactive experience”, that “look and feel” is an excellent choice for a digital setting.
Brimming with highly sexualized parodies and faux ads, the world of Fi da Puti Samurai is full of distracting “world building”. I had a blast kicking down doors and “borrowing” weapons and armor from randomly spawned stores. It’s too bad there aren’t more places to see and more reasons to pay them a visit.
Realistically, it only takes one run to see every possible shop and layout.
Likely a byproduct of randomized levels, some clipping and unsightly seams can be found. They didn’t cause any issues with gameplay, but they did take me out of the moment.
It’s fun watching waifus tumble over the environment upon death — but I wish they’d properly take off when confronted with high-power weapons. It’s not like exaggerated ragdoll physics are going to test anybody’s suspension of belief any more than Fi da Puti Samurai already asks for.
In the clip below, I showcase the game’s jiggle physics up close — and at great expense.
Chapter Seven: Verdict (3/5★)
In spite of a few game-breaking bugs and some lost progress I thoroughly enjoyed this game! Fi da Puti Samurai is quite a few updates away from completion, but it’s come a long way since I last played.
Zanardi and Liza continues to add and rebalance content, making every other month a fun “where are they now”. If you’re looking for a conclusive (or even just a consistent) game, Fi da Puti Samurai will not deliver. At the end of the day, my playtime is due to my own incompetence and completionism — not because of the number of playable stages or any sort of “story”. But hey, as long as shooting half-naked girls is all of the “story” you need, this game will surely “help [you] on [your] quarantine time”!
Add a flashlight for purchase before runs. They virtually mandatory for the second and third levels; fighting underground without a light source is a death sentence if you haven’t memorized spawn points. If balance is a concern, starting with a flashlight can be a tradeoff.
Maybe it can be implemented as a “mining helmet” that sacrifices ammo capacity?
Add a nude patch. Although I already made one, an official one may greatly increase the appeal of this game for adult crowds. If an adult patch isn’t planned, maybe consider supporting mine. . . ?
Sexy ladies can be found every which way in The Fi da Puti Samurai, and Liza is no exception! I’d like to see mirrors during runs for uh, “viewing pleasure”. More mirrors could pave the way for temporary cosmetics or maybe even an armor-stripping mechanic! On the topic of cosmetics, The Fi da Puti Samurai may benefit from purchasable “skins” to really switch up Liza between runs.
Although not my cup of tea, some players may enjoy a third-person view to bring cosmetics into the spotlight!
Add more voice acting for Liza. Take some inspiration from Borderlands; she could have dialogue for picking up a stronger weapon; a shout-out for difficult foes; she could laugh if multiple enemies are killed in succession; or complain when she runs out of ammo.
It’d be really cool to see Zanardi “text” Liza during runs, perhaps in response to voiced disdain. It’d make sense; going by the promotional artwork, Zanardi could certainly hear her talk but the reverse may not be true.