Archive: March 8th, 2020

At-a-glance

(Adult) Content?
(F) nudity.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
Half-an-hour.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No.

Amazon Girls is a third-person beat-’em-up that hopes you’ll be sold on quality anime-Amazonian nudity.

Oh yeah, that was me. Crap.

Gameplay

There are two modes to select before entering the game, “Save the Village” and “Save the Girls”. In “Save the Village”, you must fight wave after wave of enemies, each with another enemy tacked-on. I couldn’t be bothered to go past the twelfth wave, since each wave was the same as the last. If the villagers came to your aid, maybe this mode would be marginally fun-er. In “Save the Girls”, you fight one wave of enemies, and then you get to look at a cage of girls. I still don’t know if they can actually be rescued.

This game must be played in fullscreen, or else your mouse cursor will fly out of the window and make the game a lot harder.

Story

Yukki is an Amazon warrior, and the only one of her village competent with a sword. Like any sensible warrior, she prefers to fight nearly naked (or just plain naked). An evil legion has stepped into the Amazon, and they intend on capturing the Amazonians for nefarious reasons.

If I had to guess, they intend on using ’em as meat sleeves, if you know what a mean.

Visuals

The title screen sports a simple, attractive interface with a poorly-posed, animated piece of eye candy.’ From the “Options” pane, you can adjust language and sound. The “Controls” option doesn’t let you change your control scheme, rather it serves more as a tutorial on how it’s gonna be (whether you like it or not).

I smell an asset flip. Generally speaking, the characters and stages look decent, but the enemies clearly came from another world (or artist). Overall, I was not impressed. The attack animations were all over the place (in a bad way), but every other animation looks alright. Even that one sleeping girl actually looked dead.

In retrospect, perhaps I was wrong to assume she was sleeping.

The Goods

To see the goodies, make sure to turn on “Nudity” from the Options pane (and then click “Game”). I’ve seen the in-game models many-a-times, and they aren’t anything special. There are no sexual animations. Expect female nudity.

Verdict

I strongly disrecommend this game. Don’t even buy it as a joke or a “meme”. Keep your two USD, and buy yourself a real treat.

Like Mountain Dew. Mm, mm!

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