Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 Review (2/5★)

Table of Contents



Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 is a lewd Tetris-style game about a man that participates in a retro gaming tournament for his father — and pussy!


Adult Content

(FxM) Sexual content.


Censorship

No. Woot! Woot!


Adult Patch

Unnecessary.


Playtime

Two hours.



Chapter One: Introduction


I received a free copy of this software from the developer for review purpose — thanks
Pirates Of The Digital Sea!



Chapter Two: Gameplay (3/5★)


Section One: Overview

The easiest way to describe the gameplay is to compare it to Tetris. If you don’t know what Tetris is, congratulations — you live under an even bigger rock than I. The goal of the game is to rapidly produce contiguous, horizontal rows of blocks using randomly provided pieces. Using the “Hold” key, you may store a single block to swap for another. As the game progress, pieces fall quicker, calling for increased reaction speed and planning ahead. When blocks are placed above the playable area, it’s “game over”.

Section Two: Balancing

I don’t know if the same thing happens in Tetris, but I was regularly given long strings of the same piece (often resulting in a game over). It’s difficult to find the motivation to continue playing the game when you’re forced to lose again and again.




Chapter Three: Sexual Content (2/5★)


Section One: Content

Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 is pretty tame, mostly offering vanilla content; topics include cunningalus, masturbation and missionary sex. One scene had tentacles but there wasn’t any penetration — lame!

Section Two: Implementation

Every three levels completed unlocks one of ten sex-scenes.



Section Three: Interactivity

Animations may be cycled through using the provided arrow buttons. Each scene offers six “slides” for progression and ultimately, climax. Otherwise, there is no user interactivity.

Section Four: Quality

The art is high quality, but the animations are unfinished. I regularly spotted errors, including obvious cropping and layers that were seemingly forgotten. Looking past the visual errors, I found the animations to be awkward; movement is awkward and penetration is unconvincing.




Chapter Four: Story (1/5★)


Following in his father’s footsteps, Ian is participating in a tournament of “Old school games”. As an independent participant, Ian is not welcomed among the otherwise loaded celebrity players. He’s against the best of the best — but winning the “tourney” is “his responsibility to represent the family.” Losing simply isn’t an option.

I appreciated the story telling, but it felt out of touch. The “tourney” suggests Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 is a competition between the CPU and your skills, when in fact you’re only playing against yourself. I hated reading all of the advice Ian recieves from his friends and enemies when it had zero relevance to gameplay.




Chapter Five: Sound (2/5★)


Section I: Soundtrack

The music is spot-on for theme; Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 features a handful of synth beats. Each track replays two or three times before moving onto the next. I got real tired of hearing the same few tracks over and over, so I ended up muting the music.

Section II: Sound Effects

The “cyberpunk” sound effects while browsing menus is satisfying when they aren’t rapidly overlapping. For lack of a better word, the sound effects while playing the game were cheesy — they sound out of place, like they belong to another game.

Section III: Voice Acting

The moans sound alright, like what you should expect from hentai. However, it doesn’t always sync with what’s on-screen; it’s clear Pirates Of The Digital Sea just slapped some moaning clips onto each animation, with or without sex.



Chapter Six: Visuals (3/5★)


Section I: User Interface

I enjoyed the sci-fi interface until reaching the Tetris-style gameplay — at which point, it become an ambiguous, amateurish offering that no longer held my suspension of belief.

From the “Settings” menu, audio, language and display preferences are adjustable. I’m not sure what the “Support” button is ‘sposed to, because it didn’t do anything when I clicked on it. What kind of support do you expect from the Pirates Of The Digital Sea? On the topic of dropped support, the “Leaderboard” is utterly non-functional.



Section Two: Graphics

The graphics are thematically consistent. Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 checks out as a sci-fi game with space and science fiction backdrops. I enjoy the animated characters, but their animations are a little excessive. It’s as if everyone is balancing atop a rotating fan, tilting from side to side as their hair sways on a space ship.

I can deal with “gravity generators”, but what — do they have a “wind generator” where the tourney is hosted? Or in the void of space?




Chapter Seven: Verdict (2/5★)


Even if you’re fond of Tetris, I can’t recommend this game. The writing is abhorrent and the sex-scenes are unfinished. It’s absurd to see animations like I saw in a game released last year — what are the Pirates Of The Digital Sea too busy jerking off? Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 doesn’t bring anything new to the genre. It’s just Tetris with bad sex-scenes and a poorly translated story with no relevance to gameplay.

I have no right to be talking you out of this.

But if you know what’s good for you, you should quit out of fear of losinglosing money.

You can’t help them make money — not for unfinished games!




Epilogue: Recommendations


Gameplay

Add some interesting mechanics. Gamer Girls: Cyberpunk 2069 is just Tetris but worse.

Reduce the likelihood of the same blocks spawning in succession.

Sexual Content

Fix your fucking animations, you imbeciles.

Story

Proofread dialogue. Misspelt words are rampant.

Sound

Add more music and prevent the same track from placing twice in a row.

Visuals

Add a “pause” visual. It’s unclear when the game is paused after pressing “esc” key.

Fix the “Progress” bar. For some reason, I’m able to drag the “progress” meter on the level-select screen.

Remove the points system on the level-select screen if you’re not going to support “Leaderboard”.

Remove the Leaderboard and “Support” selections if they are discontinued.


Naked VR Dance (1/5★)

Naked VR Dance is a fancy wallpaper with dancing ladies (and possible burn victims.)

Yokai’s Secret

Yokai’s Secret is another H-puzzle game, but (to my knowledge) one of a kind.

Questions, requests or comments?
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