My Secret Girlfriends ;) 我的秘密女友 ;) (2/5★)

Published March 27th, 2021


My Secret Girlfriends is a lewd hidden-object/stealth game.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
(F) Nudity.

Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!

Hours of Gameplay?
Two hours.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Gameplay (3/5★)

Ransack a home to find one or more “keys” while avoiding detection. You’ll have to explore every nook and cranny (and leave no drawer un-opened) to find the keys you need. Each level has a “target”, typically a sort of prize (like panties or sex toys). A cactus is hidden in each level — by collecting them and completing stages within the “par time”, you’ll be on track to unlock the full gallery! If at any point you’re totally clueless where to look (and trust me, you going to be), you can hit the “P” key to have each item marked through walls. Talk about wall hacks!

Story (1/5★)

Sometimes, when a woman won’t go nakie-nakie for you, you gotta take matters into your own hands.

Visuals (2/5★)

The titlescreen is alright. It’s thematically appropriate, but overall I don’t find the neon user-interface very attractive. From “Options”, you may adjust audio, display, language and graphical preferences. CGs can be reviewed from the “Album”. However, the user-interface can’t be hidden and images can’t be fullscreened (unless zooming in really really close counts).

The Goods (2/5★)

There are two-hundred-eleven static CGs to unlock (I think). These images showcase a bleh redhead and an okay blondie in a variety of poses. Overall, the gallery is sincerely lacking. Considering the game has you stalking women and stealing their possessions, it would have been nice to see more provocative content. This game could have done away without the gallery, and it would be virtually unchanged.

Verdict (2/5★)

Poor Comatose Cactus. . . did My Secret Girlfriends bankrupt your studio? This game and its publisher are no longer available on Steam. This game isn’t a bad concept, but it lacks necessary quality of life and meaningful adult content. It’s not fun browsing the same draws and boxes for the same keys again-and-again. It sucks looking for tiny little objects for shit rewards — the “album” is not worth any sort of effort. If My Secret Girlfriends was fashioned as a story-driven hidden-object game with voyeurism, that’d be pretty swell. It’s too bad Comatose Cactus is no more, but I don’t think anyone will miss this game.