Paladin Lias is a lewd RPG about a not-so-innocent paladin that must cough up her goodies to save her church.


At-a-glance


(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.

Censorship?
Mosaic’d genitalia.

Hours of Gameplay?
Three or four hours.

Modding Support?
No.

Patch Available?
No, not necessary.



Foreword

This game reminds me of Work Girl, although quite a bit higher quality. Just the English alone makes Paladin Lias look like a masterpiece compared to Work Girl.

Gameplay

A basic RPG with time management elements. You go from place-to-place taking up jobs (with lewd consequences) and fighting baddies along the way. The goal of the game is to raise money, and there are a wide variety of means to do so, from prostitution, servitude and good ol’ fashion grinding.

. . . yes, this is a game you can play one-handed!

Story

In a nutshell. . .

Lias, a devout member of the church is tasked with raising one million dollars (or erm, “alms”) to regain possession of the Prophecy Stone, an important rock of the church’s. She must raise the funds through whatever means necessary — whether she likes it or not, raising the money means somebody’s mittens are going to go where she doesn’t want them to be.

. . . out of the shell.

Lias and Hirce, Paladins of the Church lure a pair of bandits into a trap. After dispatching them, you are given the option to arrest, kill or release them; the events that unfold following this event will differ from player to player. For the purposes of this article, I will document my choices for the sake of continuity.

So hey, let’s get into it!

Lias slits their throats because she thinks bandits are scum unworthy of life. She and Hirce locate the bandit leader and quickly dispatch him. . . so they thought. He hides his strength until he is able to single out Hirce, crippling him with a single blow. Holding him hostage, he forces Lias to allow him to grope her naked body. He tries to enter her goodies, but her virginity is protected by a spell — the bandit leader is cast away, and before Lias can slay him he ducks away. She takes Hirce home, and she reports to the church. She prays to a generic goddess, and she finds herself swept away in to cloudy realm.

Turns out, her previous encounter marked her “awakening”

The goddess had provided Lias a boon; when she is kind, she is able to heal; however, when she is depraved and evil, the goddess’ power will manifest into a deadly weapon. Lias is returned to reality when she finds the head clergy groping her lady bits (to “test” her ability to pray without distraction.) The next day, she returns to the church for a mission — the Prophecy Stone has gone missing, and Lias needs to retrieve it. He suspects that the church nun, who has recently gone missing may having to do with the Stone. The head clergy suggests that she hit the bar for information on its whereabouts.

I feel like the clergy just makes shit up as he goes.

She learns that the nun has headed back to her hometown in Baru City. When Lias locates her, she confesses that she sold the stone to the richest man in Ekron, Lias’ home town — she also offers her a job as a prostitute in her brothel. Lias returns to Ekron, and confronts the nun’s buyer. He refuses to return the stone until Lias can pay him back the money he payed (with interest), two-million alms. He offers Lias a job as a secretary (with whom he has a history of sexually harassing.)

So Lias returns to the church to consult the head clergy.

He says that he can take care of the first million alms, but Lias will need to raise the next million on her own. It’s up to you to decide how she raises that money. Perhaps, you might have her take the rich man’s offer, and become his personal secretary; maybe you could have her work for the nun; or in the interest of preserving her dignity, you could fight your way to a million alms. All you’d have to do is kill five-thousand bats!

But let’s be honest. You didn’t buy this game to preserve anyone’s dignity, did you?

Visuals

Talk about stock titlescreens — the main menu is an unmodified RPGMaker screen. From “Options”, you may adjust audio and gameplay preferences. To fullscreen the application, press the “F4” key. There is an in-game gallery, situated directly left to the church. CGs are overlayed on the screen without a background, which I find distracting. The user-interface cannot be hidden when viewing CGs.

There are little original sprites; RPGMaker defaults appear to be have been used to render the majority of the game.

The Goods

There are a variety of juicy CGs with light slideshow animation to see. Lias, the protagonist oozes with drool and love juices with the slightest touch. She finds herself abused left and right, seldom consenting to sexual advances. Overall, the artwork is great, but marred by censorship and the lack of proper backgrounds. Additionally, the CGs are somewhat inconsistent. Characters are drawn in different styles; this is most painfully obvious when displayed side-by-side.

. . . expect male-on-female sexual intercourse.

Verdict

Wait for a sale. Given the art and playtime, I don’t doubt this game is worth full price; however, given the lack of meaningful gameplay and overall flaws, I’d keep this game on your “Wishlist” until further notice. I encountered several bugs, and the game feels deeply unbalanced and rough around the edges. I enjoyed the artwork and overall themes, but it’s important to note that the content of this game is censored. With that in mind, if you don’t like pixelated wieners, take your money somewhere else.